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Surnderd2Him
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Name: Jolene
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Los Angeles
Birthday: 2/20/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: My Father in Heaven. Long intimate conversations with people. Dancing with the girls. Meeting incredibly unique people and being friends with them. Listening to people. Knowing what I am taking about. Being loved by someone, or sometwo. Knowing that I impact someone's life. Being and hearing that I am a good friend.
Expertise: Procrastinating, sleeping and working on my BSW @APU
Occupation: Librarian Assistant
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  jhannan87
MSN: Surnderd2him
Yahoo:  jolene_hannan
Member Since:
9/29/2005
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| The job huntI have applied to nearly 80 jobs since I have graduated. I have had several interviews so far, yet, still no job offers.
I applied for a job at Advent Group Ministries in San Jose, Ca. and had several phone interviews, references called and an essay written for them. I applied to be a resident counselor which means that I would permanently live in the home for at least a year with 4 straight days of work (3 off) as the mom. I would be responsible to wake them up, have them do their chores, get ready and off to school, drive them to school, disipline them,get them off to their counseling appointments and group activities... all the necessary duities of a live-in nanny in a theraputic environment. These kids, ages 13-17 would either be a house of 8 boys or 8 girls who all have substiance abuse issues and are typically mandated by the court. I was excited to apply and had no idea that so many others were applying as well. I finally got word back that I am "ranked" 4th for the boys. So.. as soon as the fourth opening exists for any of the boys homes I am invited to join the team. But when will that be? That could be in a year.
I put a lot of hope into that position and being hired but realized that it was unrealistic and impracticable to not find back ups if that one falls through thr floor.
I have since applied for EVERYTHING, literally, that I am applicable for and have heared back from....
Hollister--Manager-in-Training (29-30K)
Los Angeles Child Guidance Clinic--Early Interventionist Secretary III ($13.50/hour)
Anchor Blue--Sales Associate, Part time (Assuming $8.50/hour)
Hallmark--Sales Associate--Part time (Unknown)
Palos Verdes Library District--Assistant Librarian (Interview coming soon) ($21.12-26.30/hour)
Hallmark said they are going to call me tomorrow. If I get a part time job, I might just get another part time job and keep that going for a year at least. Then maybe jump into my degree-appropriate job-- if one will ever exist.
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| It is all up in the air; no where near cloud 9Sure, I only graduated a little over a month ago, but my life is
entirely up the air and I am worried. Although I am trying to believe
that things will work out in due timing... I am having a hard time
relaxing.
My apartment lease ends at the end of July. And the job I have will not
be there after August. I have applied EVERYWHERE and through every
county. I have left my horizons open and haven't received any calls
back. I am willing to travel and learn new things. I am willing to be
challenged and put in fear. I am willing to settle for less and not use
the knowledge of my degree. I can and I will if only SOME employer
would give me a chance!
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| I know you think I am too young.. I know. But that doesn't take away the fact that I would love to settle down in life. I am a naturally tired person; depleated from energy. I don't have much of a desire to do more in life. I simply want to relax and settle down. I want an apartment of my own to make feel like home. I want to find a man who loves me and wants to be my husband just as much as I want to be his lovely wife and bride. I want to make my home "ours" and share finances, struggles, job issues, joys, and eventually children. I want to watch my baby grow older and be in awe everything that I could have the ability to bring a human being into this world; influenced and modeled by me and my husband. I want to make decisions with another mind and not only for myself. I want to sacrifice me for them. I want to be a lover. And I want a warm place to do so.
Please, listen. I know I am only 22. but I want more of my lfie with someone than without. A marriage will not hold me back, it brings me more. I am sharper with his strength. Sure, i would love to travel mor.. but why can't that be with my love? Why does everyone seem to think that is only possible as a single person? Jobs are still there, priorities and responsibilities aren't necessarily easier or harder in any situation. They are how you make it.
I want to miss him when he is away. I want to work through pain with someone. I want to face life, head on, with someone who cares about it.
Sometimes I get sad when I face the fact that Josh and I were talking about marriage like it was tomorrow. i broke up with him. And just Sunday I found out that he was making plans to propose at the airport... the airport that NOONE met me at after I spent months in Africa. I grew so selfish and wanted more of me and less of him. What was I thinking!? Someone loved me and I threw it away!
I want to love someone again and make plans... even if they are far off plans.
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| Who needs airI long to taste adventure like the nature of the sea,
Always moving, always hiding all the creatures from beneath.
Singing silent songs of sadness my heart waits for its chance,
To dance upon the ashes of my burned up little plans.
And I stand alone before the night.
My nakedness is so clear in the glow of the moonlight.
Life is old but so short.
We are young, we want more.
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I don't need air.
My addiction to danger like the rush of the sea,
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me.
I don't need to prove the world to you only to myself.
So step back and look away as I dive into the swell.
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
So take me down to the river like a little child,
And take my hand and tell me it's okay to be wild.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew myself until I ripped off my disguise
(I ripped off my disguise).
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
(I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.)
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
'Cause when you got what I got, what I got
I don't need air
(True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics
of your life and give up the air that you breathe.
You don't need anything. You don't need anything.)
I don't need air | | |
| Done with my degreeI turned in my last paper today. I am done with my degree. I will be graduating on Saturday, May 9th. And I can hardly wait. I still have one final but it is a theology one, and is online. So I am safe and clear. I am ready to move on. | | |
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